THE TRUTH

So you want to know the truth? You want to know who I really am and what makes me tick. I’m no one special…in fact I might have been just like you…maybe six..seven years ago.

I was the “nerdy” girl in high school…quiet, shy, awkward. I always wore my hair half up and half down. The only endeavor I would ever attempt halfway. I was so into my school work, making a 4.0 and always trying “my best”. Just like my Daddy always told me to. I tried so hard. I didn’t know anything else. I had been homeschooled all through Middle School, saved from the hell of hormones and aggression that I hear goes on there…I still wouldn’t know. I only hear stories from my sisters…

Now, don’t think I am too different. I did meet someone. In fact, the only guy I had ever “liked” … I know it sounds silly now ( I am 23 after all ) but I met him in 11th grade, his name was Rip Oldfield.

Rip had a Billabong backpack that was black and white. He only had one class with me and it was Art Class - God I hated electives. I remember it to this day. My 6th period class was always busy..the heat of the sidewalk pushing us kids into class during those hot August afternoons. It was the class after Lunch - the one everyone was late to. Every day Rip found a way to sit by me and I acted like I hated him. But I didn’t. He was that class clown that always joked around with teachers, with everyone. He was everything I wanted. From the moment I met him I knew. I knew. Something about the way his heart synchronized with mine, the way opposites compliment each other. The way black always looks good against white, the way the sun shines at sunset. The way his eyes would shine.

One night, he called me. OMG he called me. I remember the way my heart skipped beats, the way I couldn’t breathe. I waited exactly an hour before responding. He was at a local bar that I knew and he told me to meet him there. I did.

 

It was the first night since January 1, 2014 that I had let myself cry.

Through it all I had sedated myself with alcohol and sheer exhaustion. Losing myself in work. I had seen him since then… Two nights that the dark winds carried me back to his arms like a magnetic polarity always bringing me back. It was there I belonged and there I called home.Nothing else mattered. Nothing else meant more to me than him. Nothing could heal me like he did. Not that I was always looking to be healed - but that my heart could sleep in his arms and my restlessness vanished. I could finally breathe again. Maybe I was a stupid little girl like they said…that when you are 17 you know nothing about life.. nothing about who you want to marry or who you want to be. But for me… I had always known. There was never a second though about where I belonged… never a question.

I had always questioned everything from the color of my hair to the job at which I slaved away every day… but not once had I thought twice about who I loved. I knew. For once in my life and without explanation I knew what I wanted. I had always known.

“If you think of someone enough, you’re sure to meet them again.”

Yes this is me…Excited to be teamed up with FloGrown

Yes this is me…Excited to be teamed up with FloGrown